Friday 1 July 2011

The Warm Night

The warm night encases the light like a thousand fireflies in a jar,
The beginning of summer reflects off the coast, far.
The salty winds carry a message, strongly worded,
In the skies its left to be decoded.
Across the vast expanse of empty space,
Lingers a thought that one could not encase.
Words unspoken run through the streets,
Like broken jukeboxes with spurts of random beats.
A summer night eluded with mystery,
Weighing heavy with undiscovered history.
Somewhere a clock ticks slowly,
And somewhere the tower bell echoes lowly.

The raindrops linger on the leaves a while,
Before they begin their dance so versatile.
The green around pops with colour,
And we look around waiting to discover.
Underneath the moss it seems,
There are a thousand dreams.
Below the bridge over the river that flows,
I sense the currents and tides that rose.

The warm night is such a delicate feat,
It encloses me in its sublime treat.
Attempting to grasp its tiny nuances,
I am mesmerized.
Floating away into a never land,
I find my hand in your hand.

Walk with me now?
And I promise to show you how,
This night is tranquil and calm,
And exuberant with charm.

The warm night encased the light like a thousand fireflies in a jar,
The rain tricked off leaves and fell not to far,
Cool breezes blew the mysteries away,
And from this magic it was impossible to stray,
In its transformation I find my escape,
Simply foreseeing it as fate,
I run through these images in my mind,
In my heart they settle in time.

This warm night with its rain holds.
A secret not to be told.

Sunday 3 April 2011

2nd April, 2011

Last night more than one and a half billion people waited eagerly for what would be the clash of the host teams. The 2011 World Cup brought into its finals a strong Sri Lanka and a powerful India. As eyes remained fixated on a game that didn't end until the final six, restless hearts beat praying for their country and their team. A fight that was contended till that final moment that really could have gone either way. Moments of vigour and moments of despair, as fear and excitement battled it out and at moments when my faith would shake.

As I sat surrounded by friends who watched the game, my heart beating faster with every ball, every boundary, every wicket. Joy at the Sri Lankan wickets, fear after ours. Tears filling up at those early wickets of Sachin and Sehwag, and tears when Dhoni smashed that final six.

Last night was a night of nerves, of thrill, of fear and mostly of passion. I don't pride myself on being a big cricket fan, but last night I was proud to be an Indian. I sat glued to the television, superstitious in my black, praying at odd intervals, trying to reassure my faith. I gave up, like any typical Indian at one point, but I remembered that this country of 1.2 billion people was holding its breath with me. Cricket fans or not, the country stopped to pause and watch what was a glorious victory.

The night was filled with frantic SMSs and calls to my mother who reminded me to hold onto my faith and believe and the twenty years of being a commentators daughter kicking in. In a family where everyone possesed that love for sports, I felt like the black sheep. Last night I felt passion and love. I felt pride and amazement as the Boys in Blue became the Men in Blue. I may for the first time not have the words to express my sentiments about cricket. A sport that this country thrives on, where Tendulkar is God and where we all Bleed Blue.

This cup was ours from day one, and now it's shine will illuminate the entire subcontinent.
2nd April, 2011 will be a memory etched in every young Indian as the first time they saw their country hold the World Cup. It will be a day that generations ahead will reminisce over 1983 and feel that pride and joy for the second time in their lives. A morning filled with restlessness only brought to ease by a stunning victory. It will be remembered as the historic day when for the first time a host country kept the Cup.

So here's to that victory. The victory that was not only celebrated by those eleven men led by their captain, but a victory that is celebrated by one billion twenty one million people as their hearts swell with pride. To the World Champions. To India.

Jai Hind!

Wednesday 26 January 2011

Struggle

I didn't mean to end up here. The path to this old door was so inviting. As hard as I tried, I couldn't resist. Voices and forces pulled my weight into the dimly lit curious corridor. I tried to keep my feet firm on the ground, but I found myself lifted and moving forward.

There are no people around me. Just a cold damp darkness and the longing to find the glow and shimmering light. The stone walls are bare, blank like canvas craving artistic strokes. My hand trembles while my mind works at a lightning fast speed. The intensity of the energy is too much to handle and it may drive me to insanity.

I turn, looking for an escape. There isn't even a crack around me. The door I walked in through has vanished. I'm lost. Stuck in this stone covered aura. Blocked from the world outside. There isn't a decibel of noise, nor a glimmer of hope. All the movement is restricted to my fearful trembling.

I'm stuck. The thought keeps overlapping all others. My mind is scared, but my body stands still unable to grasp the position I've found myself in. The cold wind is trying to tell me something. The silence is so unsettling I can't concentrate on its tones. I strain my ears, my mind and whatever part of me still functions. I can't. There's too much happening and yet its all still.

The blankness stares at me. Strong and bold. All knowing that I can't take its intense glare. It looks me in the eye, laughing feeling superior and I feel like a empty paint tube lying discarded on the floor.

I know there is a looming greyness over me, I struggle to find the colours. The darkness creeps into me and as I struggle to find the strength to fight it I feel my knees giving in below me. My weight seems too much to handle and I fall to the ground.

The cold hard floor sinks its sensation into me numbing any of my own. I sit there numb and trapped. Stuck in a world where I fail to see beyond the mist that fogs up my eyes. I feel my eyes bulging out in the hope of finding something that I know in my mind and heart exists but that which I cannot see. I let my beliefs get the best of me.

I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to yell. But the helplessness has caught my throat. I can feel myself choking on the silence around me. No sign of life, scaring me out of my skin. Goosebumps run up and down along with the shiver that chills through my back. I fall completely. My face hits the stone and I feel the cold surface take over the core of my being.

I lie there. Quiet. Shivering. Trembling. Hoping. Wishing. Waiting. No one finds me. What seems like days pass me by. I crave the warmth of familiar arms, the cackle of friendly laughter. Its lost somewhere in the silence. I am in another world. I close my eyes, a pitch black surrounds me. I let myself go.

I am lost. I am stuck.

Save me, I want to yell. I try screaming. Whispers leave my lips. I gather some strength and try again. A faint voice this time. I know no one can hear me. I wonder if anyone has noticed that I am missing. This thought scares me more, what if no one has. The minority of me that was attempting to hope, loses its battle to the majority of me that has given up.

No inking of optimism, I continue to lie on the cold ground. I look up. The blank canvas still stares at me. I find myself at war with my mind again. I feel my fingers at my side itching to move and my brain restricting that very function.

I stop and stare a while longer. I feel like I find strength in the emptiness. Time has taken the best of me. Fear has restricted me. The shiver has held me in its tight hold. And beyond all this I hope to be saved.

Save me. Hold me while I shiver. Laugh so to wipe my tears. Hold my hand through life till I find where I'm going. Push me so I stumble, and help me up when I hit the ground hard.

Teach me life. Teach me how to live.

Be.

Be with me.

Till I can be myself. Till I shed my cover. Till I break away from this cave I'm stuck in. Till I can hold you, not just in my heart, but in my arms.

I didn't mean to end up here. But I find myself closer to getting out.